Offering Value

This is a good day to reflect on where I am. Similar to the effect of birthdays and New Years, this day marks two years following the day I finally surrendered to Christ.

When I started this site I was regularly writing of things I believed God was teaching me. I didn't have an outlet or community to share with and so used this hoping that something might be found useful to another. Over time I drifted from there to being focused on the need to produce new things to post here. I tried different things for inspiration and gave myself artificial due dates. There were some lapses marking sin or depression or simple writer's block. In the last few months I've found myself looking back at previous posts to find truths I wish I had known and applied in the previous week. I was posting things which I promptly forgot and never applied. Clearly I wasn't learning what I claimed to be learning. If what I was writing did not teach me, how could I teach another? I know there was truth in my writing, but I believe I lost insight in much of it.

So with this past month's break to think about where I've been and where I am, I've come to conclusion that it is better to allow posts to come at their natural pace. Not bound by a predefined schedule, but released after effort, time, and consideration. To only post here what is of worth. It will be up to me maintain the discipline of continuous writing that practice requires, but that will become a background activity. I expect in practice this will mean posts will be even more rare.

As far as I can tell there are now only two or three regular readers out there. So to you, I offer apologies again for any perceived loss. If that number ever changes for greater or less I will no longer know, as I have now disabled my counter software so that I will no longer fret or be anxious about who might be lurking out there or who may be finding their way here.

Tringard "Josh Martin"

Time for a break

I have taken a lot of breaks unintentionally in the past from posting here. But this month I have decided to take an "official" break while I ponder the intent of this site. It has certainly strayed from what I described at the start and thus I feel as though I need to rebuild a vision of what this site means to me.

I will return August 1st with the results of this month and what I intend, whether this site should continue or not.

Return, I hope

Apologies are
Due, for lack of posts; to you,
Dear reader, and me.

To you: for silence.
To me: for regular thoughts
On growth ... require growth.

Excuses abound
But none suffice. Merely say,
I've returned, I hope.

Introduction

I just wanted a give a brief introduction here as to what this page is for me. First, my name is Tringard; not the name many know me as, but it is the name I use for myself in dream, journal, and online. The expected purpose of this page is to provide a place to collect my thoughts on whatever subject I am currently meditating on.

I was raised Christian, I remember making the concious choice for faith when young (5 years old), but somewhere in my teenage years my (spiritual) growth stagnated. I was no longer living to love God, but instead fulfilling my selfish desires. I put on a good show for those around me, but God knew, and I knew there was more and that I should care. In the last year I've been particularly convicted of this and finally in August made the concious decision to go to all lengths to make God first in my life. To be able to name Jesus as friend so that I might look forward to meeting Him face-to-face one day. To let Him live through me so that I walk in His will and not mine own.

Each week (roughly) there is a new subject I am considering. Often related to the changes appearing in my life, topics of growth, and any other miscellaneous thorns in my brain begging to be explored. After I start forming conclusions, I've been converting the thoughts into Haiku. Perhaps some day I'll try my hand at a new type of verse, but that is the preferred form currently. It is these verses that will be seen here.

I've spent the last few months posting these verses to my Slashdot journal, but have recently decided they needed a better, more personalized context to show up, hence this site. I'll be reposting some of the posts from there, and then posting only here in the future.

- Trin