This is a good day to reflect on where I am. Similar to the effect of birthdays and New Years, this day marks two years following the day I finally surrendered to Christ.
When I started this site I was regularly writing of things I believed God was teaching me. I didn't have an outlet or community to share with and so used this hoping that something might be found useful to another. Over time I drifted from there to being focused on the need to produce new things to post here. I tried different things for inspiration and gave myself artificial due dates. There were some lapses marking sin or depression or simple writer's block. In the last few months I've found myself looking back at previous posts to find truths I wish I had known and applied in the previous week. I was posting things which I promptly forgot and never applied. Clearly I wasn't learning what I claimed to be learning. If what I was writing did not teach me, how could I teach another? I know there was truth in my writing, but I believe I lost insight in much of it.
So with this past month's break to think about where I've been and where I am, I've come to conclusion that it is better to allow posts to come at their natural pace. Not bound by a predefined schedule, but released after effort, time, and consideration. To only post here what is of worth. It will be up to me maintain the discipline of continuous writing that practice requires, but that will become a background activity. I expect in practice this will mean posts will be even more rare.
As far as I can tell there are now only two or three regular readers out there. So to you, I offer apologies again for any perceived loss. If that number ever changes for greater or less I will no longer know, as I have now disabled my counter software so that I will no longer fret or be anxious about who might be lurking out there or who may be finding their way here.
Tringard "Josh Martin"
01 August 2007
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